Ember by Rachel van Dyken

I am a Killer. A Rapist. A Monster.
I know only pain and survival. 
That is until the Cappo's sister walked into my life. 
And changed everything.

She's a light who makes my darkness darker, her smile makes my heart turn to ice, and I can't escape the fear her seductive looks instill--knowing it's only a matter of time before I fail--again, and take her for myself.
This is the story of my redemption. 
But it's not pretty...I died, and now I'm alive, but not living, breathing but not surviving. I am Phoenix De Lange, son to a murdered mob boss, estranged brother, horrible friend, monster in the making, newest leader to one of the most powerful families in the Cosa Nostra.
And I will have my vengeance.
Or die trying.
I am Phoenix De Lange. 
Death is all I know. 
Until she offers me a piece of life--I can't resist taking

I was very excited to read Phoenix story. I have a thing for broken men I guess. I really believe Phoenix is worthy of love. He just needed someone to see him for who he really is, to mend his broken pieces back together, to fight for him and most of all to make him want to live again. And I thing Bianka, sister of the capo, also called Bee, is the perfect woman for the Job.

I’m finally starting to understand the family tree, and how the families work but it’s still confusing at times.

Review

What is this book about.

This book continues where elicit and bang bang ended. It now focuses on Phoenix and Bee. Phoenix now is the head of the nicolasi family and all the secrets Luca knew are now passed on to him. Phoenix believes he isn’t worthy of anything  and in bee’s eyes he’s worth everything. Bee is the sister the capo. She had a rough live and her father was horrible to her. Phoenix saved and protected her from her father. We don’t get to know much about her past, which is a shame, I would like to find out more. Anyhow, even though she had a rough childhood she is still a funny, energetic, smart, sassy person. I think she is one of my favorites in this series. She and Chase are seriously the funny ones. Bee’s relentless in her pursuit after phoenix, she pushes his buttons like no other, teases him, forces him to eat, tricks him and she sees the good in him when nobody does, but she’s also very insecure. Phoenix on the other hand is trying very hard to push her away, to keep her from his cursed self but even he has his limits.

What do I love about this book.

I Just love phoenix. I really feel for him and I really believe he is much more than he thinks he is. I’m happy to see he found love and forgiveness is in his life. I think that the person he was, was created out of the horrible circumstances he grew up in.  I really loved there story and I hope to see more of them in Elude. I’m curious about Sergio and Andi’s story, because andi seems like an very interesting person. Oh Andi is from a Russian mob family, she worked for Luca.

This story changed, it’s really maturing. It still has the bad ass mafia business going on but you can tell that the characters aged and things are getting more serious.

Quotes from the book:

But want didn’t really belong in my vocabulary anymore – Phoenix

Who died and made you my grandpa – Bee

"Didn’t I tell you to make friends?" " Found a squirrel in the parking lot. Does that count?" "That depends. Did it talk to you? Offer you his nuts?" - Bee and Phoenix

"This is your Everest. We all have them. We all struggle.?But that doesn’t make you any less intelligent. It makes you different. Don’t let the thing that terrifies you overcome you so much that you can’t even take a bite. So we start slow. We start at the beginning. And eventually, you’ll be able to eat the whole plate, or in your case, finish every problem. You helped me with lasagna, I’ll help you with this".  “because I fed you? “ No, Because you where the only one who even recognized I was hungry” - Bee and Phoenix

“Bee he growled. “if you aren’t here in five seconds I’m going to –“ “Spank me? Mud wrestle until I say uncle?” - Bee and Phoenix

"The prince doesn’t turn into a prince, and the beast doesn’t turn back human, Bee. That’s not how life really works".  “I don’t mind frogs, beast are kind of scary… but can be tamed too” “Is that your way of saying you can tame me?” Aw you need a safe word. It can be bird you know, because of your name and all”  - Bee and Phoenix

It broke my heart, absolutely shattered every part of me, that the only time I’d seen him truly at peace was in the moment when he was asking for his own death

"I believe in you. I just.. I want you to know that despite everything… I believe in you. That’s all" - Bee

“Taking advantage of you with my eyes .What does it look like I’m doing?” - Bee

First time phoenix and bee spoke. 

Phoenix (Phoenix: Blue Eyes, multi colored/brown hair cut short, lean muscled body, dimples)

Bee: Curvy, sexy, energetic, auburn hair, deep blue eyes, beautiful

Echo by e.k blair

It's been said the longest echo ever measured lasted 75 seconds, but I can assure you, this will last much longer. The bang deafened the world around me, muting everything into nullity, allowing the reflection of its destruction to live far beyond its intended life. 

It will follow me forever, destroying me—destroying you.

You want answers? 

So do I.







Review.

It is so hard to write a review for this book because I don’t want to spoil too much and this book has so much going on.  It is a very complex story with great debt and real characters. The way E.K. tells a story is magnificent. She manage to write about a gruesome and trilling subject and manage too make you fall in love with it. It teaches you that life isn’t fair, that bad and horrible things happen to people and that no matter how hard you try or how sorry you are, bad things will happen. But that doesn’t mean it can turn around, that there won’t be good things in life to. That people can (try too) forgive. It also teaches you that without hate there isn’t love and that there is a very very fine line between the two. That even though you can hate someone that doesn’t mean you can’t love them and vice versa.

I’ll try not to spoil anything but I won’t make any promises. So if you really don’t want to know anything about this book, I recommend you not reading my review.

So what is this book about

This book starts of where Bang ended. So you’ll understand that I was very frantic to read it.  Elizabeth is more broken than she already was. Not only did she lose her baby, her brother but also her lover. She feels like she has nothing left. She doesn’t know how to deal with her feeling and there’s no pike to take it all way.  Since there is nothing left for her, she decides to go to Scotland to see the place Declan begged her to move to with him. By doing so she hopes to feel closer to Declan.

Before she left matt called her, wanting to talk to her. Matt knows she killed Pike and he cleaned up the mess. That leaves Elizabeth in his favor. Not knowing what and when Matt will call in his favor Elizabeth leaves the country anyway.

In Scotland Elizabeth finds out that her little con is nothing compared to the web of crimes she finds herself in. Nothing is what is seems and Elizabeth is stuck in the middle of money washing, gun trafficking, human trafficking, prostitution and what not. She finds out things about her family she might not want to know. But in her sadness, grieve, and pain she finds love again. That doesn’t mean it’s the kind of love she had or was looking for.  After all it takes time to forgive someone after a massive betrayal and even then it’s not a certainty you will be trusted again.

What did I love about this book

I loved every second of it.  There aren’t many things in books that shock me (yes it turns out I have a very twisted mind haha) but E.K manages to shock me at some point. When you think poor Elizabeth has had the worst, EK proves you wrong.  This book has everything in it and it’s so well written and planned. It has love, forgiveness, hate, betrayal, horror, mental breakdowns, real reactions to events, emotions, so much emotions, pain, happiness, and hope.

E.K wouldn’t be E.K if she didn’t leave us hanging and guessing at the end of this book. In my opinion it isn’t as bad as the cliffhanger in the first book but it’s a big cliffhanger none the less.

Quotes from the book

This was the moment I discovered my new drugs. It no longer came in the comfort of Pike or Declan. No. It came from the devil’s hand,-my hand- and in that moment, I felt a sense of power in my ability to state off the misery with a blissful brutality that births an endorphined high

“Because I do hate you. More than anything on this earth. I hate you with every pump of blood my heart proffers. I want to punish you in the worst ways, make you suffer and hurt. But god help me…. I love you."

“I never claimed to be right-minded. I know I’m screwed up. I know I’m so far beyond damaged I’m irreparable. But I also know that you want find the same amount of satisfaction in punishing anyone but me." “Why do it then? Is it to make yourself better for what you did?” “Partly” “And the other part?” “Because I love you? “ “ You shouldn’t” "But I do. I never thought anyone could have the power to make me feel as safe and clean as you do. You have the power to make me feel worthy of living. That somewhere out there, life just might have a purpose for me” “ Then why did you leave me? Why didn’t you stay and call the medics? Why did you leave me to die?"

“I don’t know if I’m going to get over this- if I’m ever going to get to the point where I don’t want to punish you for what you’ve done. But I need you to understand something: I need you to know that even though you may feel pain, I will never hurt you. I will do everything to give you what was taken from you. I’m going to make you feel safe, I promise you that. No one will ever lay a hand on you again”

“I’ll never forget how beautiful she looked at the grand opening of Lotus, standing across the room along, midnight-blue gown. She was confident, snarky, and so sure of herself, and in this very moment, I vow to give all those qualities back to her.”

Bang Bang by Rachel van Dyken

He was my best friend.
Until he became my enemy.
All within the span of one night.
Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang.
The rapid fire of gunshots became the soundtrack to my life.
This is the Mafia. Lines are blurred. Choices are never black and white. And the life you thought you knew is... one giant lie.
He was dead.
And I didn't want his life to be in vain, so I tried to make something of myself. I tried and failed.
Now he's back. Alive. And he wants something...
Me.
Nobody ever said the mafia played fair.
Welcome to The Family.





Review

For some reason I haven’t read Bang Bang before and I now that I have I must say I liked it. It’s a sweet short story that contains the badass mafia action.  I also liked to see more of Bee and Phoenix. I really makes you want to read more about their story.

So what is this book about

This story is a side story in the Eagle Elite series It can be read as a standalone but I don’t recommend it. I recommend you reading it after elicit or it might spoil some things for you. This story is about Axton aka ax and Amy. Ax is the younger brother of Sergio and therefore the cousin of Nixon.  Amy is a de lange and she’s Phoenix cousin.

                Amy and Ax are best friends. Ax is the person Amy goes to after her father hits her again or when he and her mother are fighting. In the beginning of the books things go horrible wrong and amy and ax are separated. Amy’s mother is dead, her father gone MIA and she believes Ax is dead. Amy is put in foster care and they don’t treat her much better than her father did. Five years after the event Ax comes out of hiding, like Sergio and starts working for the family again. He doesn’t want to be he gets an offer he can’t refuse, amy. Since amy left Chicago after she graduated he lost track of her.

                This book wouldn’t be a mafia book if there weren’t some shooting, killing, plotting and weddings involved.

What did I like about this story

I liked that it gave us some insight in sergio’s family and it was a nice set up for Phoenix’s story. I liked how ax was willing to do anything for Amy and how Amy was devoted to Ax. I’m glad to see they got there happy ending. And I can’t wait to read Phoenix’s story.