Thursday, October 29, 2015

Review "Toxic by Rachel van Dyken (Ruin#2)"

Everyone has a secret...

Gabe Hyde is on borrowed time. He's been hiding his identity for over four years-hidden from the world that used to adore him--obsess over him--driven to the edge of insanity by one poor choice. 
But that one choice, altered the course of his life forever. 
Pretending isn't all it's cracked up to be, especially when pretending means hiding your real self from the people that care about you the most. But if anyone ever discovered the truth it wouldn't just be his life at risk--but hers. 

Saylor doesn't hate men. 
Just Gabe. 
Only Gabe. 
He's a reckless, happy-go-lucky, silver spoon fed pain in her ass. Everything about him makes her more and more confused. Unfortunately they both donate time at the same Group Home. If she wasn't afraid of flunking, she'd be long gone. She hates that she's attracted to him almost as much as he hates that he's attracted to her--and she can tell, especially since their first encounter ended up making her knees so weak she couldn't form coherent sentences for weeks afterwards. But the closer she gets to him, the more confused she becomes. He isn't who he says he is, and he's hiding something big. 

What happen when two worlds collide? Two worlds that never should have met in the first place? Some secrets are too big to be hidden forever--the only question? Will his destroy everyone he loves? Or finally bring about the redemption he's been craving for the past four years?

Everyone has a secret...What's yours?


Review
Well I really wouldn't guessed Gabe's secret in a million years. Maybe because we haven't heard about it in the series and there were no hits what so ever. So I was kind of shocked but also a bit confused because I had no clue what they where talking about or who they were talking about while getting the feeling like I should know. 

What is this book about
Well this book is about Gabe. We met Gabe in Ruin. He is Lisa's (Kiersten's roomate) cousin. He come's across like a happy, sassy, playboy but he is hiding something major.  And then Gabe meets Saylor. Saylor is a quite girl who is a music major. She is good at playing the piano but she's finds it hard to play with passion.`While Saylor lacks passion while playing the piano, Gabe has more than enough. Yes we find out that Gabe is a very talented musician. And no that isn't the only thing he was hiding. 
Gabe and Saylor really don't hit it off. They are attracted to each other but they're both not willing to give in. Especially when Gabe acts like a complete jerk to Saylor, just to hide that he likes her.
When Sayler goes to a group home as a volunteer for a project, she is forced to spend more time with Gabe. They grow closer  and close but the closer they get the more conflicted Gabe seems. Does he want Saylor or does he want to keep his secret.  Is his secret really that big, that it's worth pushing Saylor away? 

What did I love about this book
I really liked Gabe. He is a funny and charming guy when he want's to. I liked Saylor as well. At first I wasn't sure how she would handle Gabe's mean words but she really held her own. 
She is a sweet and caring girl and she is perfect for Gabe. 

What I didn't like that much is ,when we found out what Gabe secret was , that I got the feeling like I should know what that meant. And the way Saylor reacted, that she was so heart broken, I just didn't get it. And it get's explained a bit more a later on but not so much. I sort of felt out of the blue. 
Like I said before I never saw it coming and it really put a twist to the story. I really liked that .
I also liked the way the story kept you guessing what was going to happen, what is going on etc. 

It's a very good story, well written and very thrilling. 



Monday, October 26, 2015

Release day Extravaganza!!!
















Happy release day to the amazing rachel van dyken. I've posted an post to promote rip and I'm doing it again. I'm going to post another amazing excerpt. And if you don't want to read it after that, I don't know what will. I for one can't wait to read it. I have to finish another book and then I'm going to read it and post my review!!



Pretty things aren’t meant to be broken.
But I broke her, and now we both have to pay the price.
I’m her nightmare.
I’m her savior.
And now that I have her signature on an ironclad contract, I own her body and soul.
She doesn’t remember me.
She will.
It’s inevitable.
Because as much as I know I need to stay away, for fear of unlocking the memories I helped her father bury–I can’t.
She was the apple in the Garden, dangled in front of me, her core so tempting and sweet. A voice whispered. Just. One. Bite.
I bit.
I tasted.
I fell.
Welcome to the world of the Russian mafia, where death, is your only future.


















Rachel Van Dyken is the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and USA Today Bestselling author of regency and contemporary romances. When she's not writing you can find her drinking coffee at Starbucks and plotting her next book while watching The Bachelor. 
She keeps her home in Idaho with her Husband, adorable son, and two snoring boxers! She loves to hear from readers! 
Want to be kept up to date on new releases? Text MAFIA to 66866! 

You can connect with her on Facebookwww.facebook.com/rachelvandyken  or join her fan group Rachel's New Rockin Readers. Her website iswww.rachelvandykenauthor.com 





















“YOU’RE NOT WEARING BLACK,” I BLURTED once we were in the parking garage, my eyes scanning over the crisp white button up and the same black slacks he’d worn to our initial meeting.
“How very intuitive of you, Maya.” Nikolai mused placing his hand on my lower back.
“Ass.”
His lips twitched.
At least he had somewhat of a sense of humor.
“Get in.” He opened the door to a black Audi A8. I slid in to the leather seat and looked around. The car seemed heavier than normal sedans or sports cars. I’d always loved Audi’s but this one wasn’t like others I’d seen on the road.
Curiosity got the best of me, when Nikolai got in and turned the key I asked. “What kind of Audi is this?”
“A safe one,” he said with a simple shrug, his lips pressing together in a firm line. “Throw a grenade at it and we’d walk away without a scratch.”
“You uh, get grenades thrown at you often?”
“One can never be too careful.”
“Hmm.” I leaned back and crossed my arms as classical music floated through the car. “So, the location of our first appointment.”
“A simple office building—nothing special.”
“Right.” I started nervously cracking my knuckles.
“Don’t.” His teeth clenched as he placed a solid warm hand across mine. “Just… don’t, not now.”
“Um, okay.” His hand hadn’t left mine. “Sorry.”
“You should be,” he snapped then jerked away from me like the feel of my skin somehow offended him.
Right. So I was back at the crazy theory.
We drove the rest of the way in complete silence—except for the violin music in the background. It seemed melodramatic. Driving through downtown Seattle with a billionaire in a car that could withstand World War Three, only to get trained for my new job.
Where I had no rights as a human being.
Yeah I was a bad romance novel waiting to happen.
He stopped the car at Pier 44 and turned off the engine. “Shall we?”
Nikolai didn’t wait for me to answer, simply got out of the car. Dumbly, I followed. What other option did I have?
He was still dressed in his tight white button up and black pants. Why was it that I had to change and he didn’t? The salty wet air stung my nostrils as we walked down the pier and finally stopped in front of a red door.
I looked around while he pulled out a key and shoved it in the lock. What could a man like him possibly be doing on the pier? In the dead of night? And why did he need my help?
“Do not speak.” He hissed before grabbing my elbow and jerking me through the entrance. He kept his arm wrapped around me. I wasn’t sure if it was because he was nervous I’d cut and run, or because it was so freaking cold in that place it could have been a freezer.
I shivered.
“You’ll get used to it,” he whispered across my ear.
“But don’t I want to,” I muttered under my breath.
His teeth flashed in what I assumed was a smile—I didn’t want to think he was gnashing his teeth at me so early on in our working relationship. Maybe I was trying to stay positive.
I shivered again and crossed my arms, trying to keep my body heat from evaporating into whatever hellish nightmare I’d just walked into.
Nikolai walked toward one of the walls and flipped a switch.
The lights flickered on one by one, reminding me of those horror movies where the buzzing of the lights being on is almost as freaky as the lights being off.
Everywhere I looked was white.
White marble floors.
White couches.
And a white receptionist desk with a red J hanging down the front. If I wasn’t so freaked out, I’d probably think everything looked modern and cool, not exactly inviting but not terrifying either.
Magazines littered the coffee table in the middle of the room, and a large bay window overlooked the Sound.
“Clinical,” I muttered under my breath.
The sound of a phone ringing had me nearly colliding with the nearest couch and toppling over backward.
“Phone,” Nikolai said in an amused voice. “It’s just a phone Maya.”
I managed to croak out a weak, “yeah.” But was anything as it seemed with him? No, not at all, so excuse me for freaking out over the phone ringing.
“Yes.” He answered on the second ring, his gaze trained on the floor. He checked his watch then motioned for me to approach the receptionist desk. “No, no that should work out just fine, I have a new… employee.” His eyes found mine.
I wasn’t so sure I liked the way he said employee, like I was disposable.
Or edible.
He licked his lips, eying me up and down before glancing back at the floor again. “Give me twenty minutes, then the usual.”
He hung up the phone and swore.
“Problem in crazy land?” I asked sweetly.
“I don’t believe the contract you signed this afternoon said anything about sarcasm. Or speaking.”
“Maybe you should have put that in then before I signed on the dotted line… sir.”
His eyes narrowed. “Unfortunate….”
“What is?”
“That you don’t mean that term of respect the way it should be meant… I could get used to it.”
“Yeah, I bet.”
“Turn.”
“Excuse me?”
“Around.” He placed his hands on my shoulders and twisted my body toward a white door with two windows. “I have exactly eighteen and a half minutes to teach you the basics before we have our first patient.”
“I’m seeing real patients?”
Nikolai didn’t answer. I’d begun to notice that about him. If he didn’t want to answer he simply… refused to speak, as if he didn’t owe me anything.
He opened the door leading to the hallway and ushered me through, the lights flickered on all by themselves, lighting up rooms on either side of me. Each of them looked sterile enough that I could probably lick the floors and still be safer than eating while typing on my laptop.
“And behind door number one,” Nikolai whispered in my ear, causing a chill to run down both my arms.
He pushed the door open it made a suction noise and then closed behind us. He stretched his arms above his head and cracked his neck then pulled out a pair of latex gloves.
I gulped and tried to stop the sudden panic that sliced through me, “Are we, examining someone?”
He paused, his hands hovering over the sink and table facing the corner. “It would be prudent for you to remember the terms of the contract, Maya.”
Right. No questions, or talking.
“Do I need gloves?”
“Is that still a question? Also, if you keep talking, I may remove your tongue, you’ve been given fair warning.”
Did he just say he was going to cut my tongue out? Holy shit, he really was crazy! Did the medical journals know this? Society? People of earth? How did he hide this side of him? I was full on panicking at that moment.
Instead of bossing me around like I figured he’d do, he clapped his hands twice, powder flying off his gloves, more violin music began to come through an unseen sound system.
To be completely honest it was creepy.
Not soothing. Kind of like the music they play in the elevator in hopes to make you forget that you could plummet to your death at any point.
I leaned against the wall and watched him pull out metal instruments. Two scalpels, which made me think surgery. It killed me not asking, and when he pulled out a respirator and grabbed an IV bag, my hands began to shake against my body.
What exactly where we doing? Performing surgery? And in what world was I even close to being adequately capable of doing anything like that? I was studying diseases, but not in the literal sense where I cut up bodies and peered inside—that was a different major, a different type of person.
Books. I liked books.
Hands on experience? No, thank you.
“You will only aid me for a few minutes at a time. When I ask you to leave, you will walk out the door. Shut it behind you and don’t look back. You don’t ask questions. When the phone rings again, answer it and let him know my projected finish time in order to bring in the new patient. You’ll know my projected finish time because I’ll text it to the phone I gave you earlier this afternoon.”
Blood roared in my ears. So much information yet none of it connected or made sense.
“Maya!” he snapped. “Pay attention.”
I swallowed and nodded my head. “Shut the door, don’t look back, don’t ask questions, answer phone, answer your text. Got it?”
His shoulders sagged a bit.
“What if I don’t get your text?”
“Now that…” He smirked. “… is a good question.”
“I’m full of them, just let me ask.”
“I’m sure you are.” His eyebrows drew up in amusement. “If I don’t text, you wait for me. If after two hours you receive nothing. You find the black box located underneath the receptionist desk and follow the instructions. It’s important that you do exactly what those instructions say.”
“Or else?”
“Not the right question.” A muscle flexed in his jaw as he looked away and clenched his fists. “Do you think you can handle all of this?”
“No.”
Nikolai tilted his head and took two steps toward me. Licking his full lips he leaned in and whispered so close to my mouth I could almost taste him. “Lie.”
Afraid to breathe, I answered with a stiff nod and stepped back.
“Now, answer the door.”
“But there’s no—”
A loud knock sounded somewhere in the building.
“End of the hall, open the door, lead our patient in. Again, no questions.”
With more confidence than I felt, since my legs were like rubber as I made my way out of the office, I slowly walked to the end of the hall and opened the door.
I don’t know what I was expecting.
The boogie monster?
ET?
A friggin’ zombie from Walking Dead?
But a girl about my age stood on the other side of the door. She was wearing the shortest skirt I’d ever seen in my entire life. It was black and wrapped so tightly around her thighs it looked painted on. Her heels were tall and red, matching her bright red lipstick and bright red nails.
Blond hair was piled high on her head.
She assessed me just like I was assessing her.
Her eyes narrowed.
A man about six foot seven towered behind her. He had dark sunglasses on and was wearing all black just like me. The unmarked Lexus behind them was still running.
“Um…” I found my voice. “Just this way.”
“How long?” The man asked with a thick Russian accent.
“I’m not sure, I’ll just have—”
He held up his hand and sneered, then rubbed his bald head with that same hand. “Never mind.”
I opened the door wider and let the girl through.
She smelled like bubble gum. And she looked like a stripper, walked like a stripper, if I didn’t know any better I’d think Nikolai had some sort of… agreement with his patients or they weren’t patients at all. A sickening feeling started churning in my gut as I led her to the room and opened the door.
“Hey, Doc.” She winked and sat on the table. “This can’t take long because I have like, a few clients I need to get to tonight, big money.”
“Ah, big money?” Nikolai repeated then nodded to me.
I shut the door and waited, my back leaning against the furthest wall just in case he did something that meant I needed to run away—as fast as possible.
Not that there would be anywhere I could disappear to where he or my mafia boss father wouldn’t find me.
Dead if I went.
Tortured if I stayed?
I shook the thought away and watched as he engaged the girl as if she was the cutest thing on the planet.
He smiled, freaking smiled at her, flirted with her, and touched her. I wasn’t jealous, just… irritated, whatever, I was tired and still freaked out.
“So, Natalia,” he purred. “How has business been going? Any complaints?”
“I never get complaints.” She giggled behind her hand then leaned forward, her breasts practically toppling out of her low cut sparkly white shirt. “You should know that by now…”
Gross.
“Of course I do,” he said in a smooth as sin voice. “Open up for me just a bit.”
She opened her mouth while he looked inside and frowned. “How long have the sores been back?”
Sores?
“A few days.” She shrugged. “But you know they always go away when you give me medicine.”
“Like all good doctors.” He flashed another grin. “Alright… Maya.”
My head jerked to attention. “Yes?”
“Across the hall is the storage closet. Can you please get me a small vial of JR 88?”
“Sure.” With a gulp, I quickly went across the hall to get the vial. The storage closet was more of a drug addict’s paradise. There were enough pills to get a person high for eons—on top of that he had vials of things I couldn’t even pronounce. I finally located the right one and hurried back into the room.
Just in time to see Nikolai tuck the scalpel into the lapel of his jacket and pull out a needle.
I handed over the vial and waited.
With precision, he dipped the needle into the bottle then pulled a small amount, maybe the size of a pea, into the syringe. “Now, I know you hate needles.”
“Ah but your poking always makes me feel better, doc.” She winked.
And I again fought the urge to puke all over his perfect floors.
“All the girls do.” He winked right back.
Was I the only one not winking? Not flirting?
He licked his lips, stabbing her arm with the needle and slowly injecting whatever the hell he’d told me to grab. He quickly pulled the needle out once the medicine was gone.
She slumped back, her legs and mouth falling open as if she’d just lost the desire to rein it in. Her eyes rolled up and back, and with a snort or maybe a laugh, she lay back.
Nikolai placed the vial onto the table, pulled out an IV and inserted it into her wrist, taping it in place.
I was still trying to figure out what he was doing when his head snapped up. “What are you still doing here?”
“I—”
“Leave.” He dismissed me with a wave of his hand.
With one final look at the drugged girl, I put my hand on the door knob and twisted.
He told me never to look back.
But I was too curious not to make that attempt.
And my curiosity was only made worse when I saw the reflection of the scalpel in his hand through the window of the door.
“Maya.” His tone was gruff. “Do your job.”
I didn’t look back but the music, the same violin music that had driven me insane, got louder, as if he needed the noise to block out whatever he was doing.
Not my business, not my problem.
I quickly made my way back into the receptionist area and sat down.
The J screen saver was on the computer. I clicked it on.
Internet!
No way
Almost too easy.
“I wouldn’t,” a chipper female voice said. “Then again, I always liked to push his buttons too.”
I glanced up from the screen and came face to face with the most gorgeous elderly lady I’d ever seen in my entire life.
“Can I, uh, help you?”
“No.” Her smile was warm. “But I think I can help you—you’re my new replacement.”
“Oh.”
“One of thirty he’s had over the last two years.” Her shoulders shook with amusement. “Man can’t keep a woman to save his life.” And then she burst out laughing as if it was the funniest thing in the world. “And you’d think with those looks, that brain, that body.” She fanned herself and peeked down the hall. “Still at it, huh?”
“Um, first of the day. Who did you say you were?”
“A friend.” She smiled and held out her hand. “You can call me Jaclyn, or just Jac for short.”
“Jac.” I repeated shaking her soft hand. The woman had more diamonds decorating her fingers than what seemed possible. Each of them sparkled as if telling their own story of love and riches. “So, I’m the thirtieth intern huh?”
“Is that what he told you?”
“Not exactly.”
“Intern.” She chuckled. “Has a nice ring to it. Has he texted you yet?”
“No, but—”
“He will, he always does. Only had to use the black box once.” She nodded, and her eyes fell. “But that was a long, long time ago.”
“Um—”
“Oh!” She clapped her hands together, making her entire outfit shake. Wait, was she wearing bells or something? I stood and looked over the counter. The woman couldn’t be any taller than five-foot-one. She had red cowboy boots with bells on the tassels and skinny jeans matched with a white sweater. What should have looked stupid looked classy and stylish, like she’d just walked out of Urban Outfitters. Huh. “Why don’t I show you the schedule?”
“Alright, but Nikolai didn’t say—”
“Nikolai?” Her lips pressed together. “That’s allowed then?”
“What is?”
“His first name.”
“Apparently.”
“You must be special.” She smiled brighter. “I’m the only one who calls him by that… then again I’m also the only one who’s ever seen the man behind the mask.”
“So there’s two of them?” I joked.
“Oh, yes.” She nodded seriously. “Never forget how important it is to separate the two. Here he’s a god.”
“As opposed to?”
“Anywhere else…” She placed her hand on mine and squeezed. “He’s just a man. Never forget that, sweetheart.”
With that, she released my hand and waved at her eyes as if she was going to burst into tears at any moment.
“Goodness, my emotions get me these days. Now, let’s look at that schedule, and I’ll try to sort out any questions you may have before that elusive text comes through.”
“And then what?”
“What dear?”
“After the text?”
“Oh, you bring in the next girl.”
“Are they…” I swallowed. “Prostitutes?”
“Labels really do nothing for me.” She shrugged again and pulled out a chair plopping right next to me. “If you’re really good, tomorrow morning I’ll bring you a latte, what’s your favorite?”
“Anything with caffeine.”
She paused, her eyes getting misty again. “I do hope you last, dear.”
“And the others? They quit?”
Her eyes fell to the keyboard as she pulled a hanky from her purse and blew her nose. “Now, the schedule…”

Are you ready for the first cut? Dive into Rip and discover why the good Doctor’s known for his pleasure and his pain… a complete stand alone from NYT Bestselling Author Rachel Van Dyken.

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Review "Ruin by Rachel van Dyken"

I'm not your typical girl. I've been running away from the memories that haunt me for so long that depression has become my only comfort. I was content in the darkness...until Wes Michals offered to be my light.

I didn't know that time wasn't my ally -- that every second that ticked past was one step closer to the end of something that was beginning to mean the end of myself. He tried to warn me. He promised me all he was able to offer--each moment as it came--but it would never be enough.

Sometimes when you think it's the end, it's only the beginning. Wes thought he could save me, but in giving me everything, he ruined me. Because after one kiss, one touch, I couldn't--I wouldn't ever be the same.

And from that moment on, his heartbeat became my own.


Review
I really really loved this book. Yes there were a view things I wished were different. And I do feel like the story was cut short. I feel like we missed some things and that some things should have been explained more. 

What is this book about
Well this book is about Kiersten. Kiersten is an eighteen year old girl with strawberry blonde hair. She grew up in a very small town and is very uhm pure if you know what I mean.  She goes to collage and she really needs to get out of her shell and live her live. Up until now she's been existing not living and it time she did. On her first day she met Weston aka wes. Wes is a very handsome guy with blue eyes and blond hair and a very sexy eight pack. 
Wes is very interested in Kiersten and really wants to help her, help her get out of her shell while he still can. You see Wes has a very big secret, a secret that might cut their time together short.  But Wes isn't the only one with a secret. Kiersten has one as well. Not as big as Wes but still a secret. 
Kiersten is very attracted to Wes and she really likes him. She still wants to get to know him after she finds out on of his 'secrets'. Wes was accused of rape by his ex-girlfriend, which of course wasn't true but still it's a very nasty thing to accuse someone from. 
This story is about two people who have had a very rough time and are trying to move on from that. Weston really lives his life till the fullest and Kiersten is a girl that needs to learn how to live again. So they're perfect for each other. Now lets hope they've got enough time.
What did I like about this book

It was so funny. Both West and Kiersten are amazing characters. They are so funny and great together. I really love the both of them.
I also loved the sidecharacters Lisa and Gabe. They were such good people and also very funny. 
This story really made you feel like you need to live your life till the fullest and really appreciate what you have. You might not know when your life might end. 

What I missed in this story was time. I really feel like the story was cut short. I really feel like we missed some events like homecoming and other things. I also feel like things were going too fast and that thing might have been cut out or something.   I also feel like the rape accusations made by the ex and the encounter with her was very minor. I thought we might see more of that throughout the story. I didn't miss it but I thought it was odd because it felt like it would be a really big deal.  Other than that I loved this story and I thought it was great. I think the problem is that I wanted more of it. More detail and stuff. 


Release Day!!! RIP by Rachel van Dyken



Pretty things aren't meant to be broken.
But I broke her, and now we both have to pay the price.
I'm her nightmare.
I'm her savior.
And now that I have her signature on an ironclad contract, I own her body and soul.
She doesn't remember me.
She will.
It's inevitable.
Because as much as I know I need to stay away, for fear of unlocking the memories I helped her father bury--I can't.
She was the apple in the Garden, dangled in front of me, her core so tempting and sweet. A voice whispered. Just. One. Bite.
I bit.
I tasted.
I fell.
Welcome to the world of the Russian mafia, where death, is your only future.








Happy release day to the amazing Rachel van Dyken. For those of you that don't know Rachel. Here is a bit of info about her 

Rachel Van Dyken is the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and USA Today Bestselling author of regency and contemporary romances. When she's not writing you can find her drinking coffee at Starbucks and plotting her next book while watching The Bachelor.
She keeps her home in Idaho with her Husband, adorable son, and two snoring boxers! She loves to hear from readers!
Want to be kept up to date on new releases? Text MAFIA to 66866!
You can connect with her on Facebook www.facebook.com/rachelvandyken  or join her fan group Rachel's New Rockin Readers. Her website is www.rachelvandykenauthor.com 








Here are some teaser of her new amazing book. I for one can't wait till I can read it!!


And like this isn't enough to get you excited, here's a little excerpt

“So.” She plopped into the seat next to me and crossed her long legs. I fought hard to pull my eyes away. “Catch me up, what exactly are we doing in Chicago.”
I opened a folder and slid it across the table. “We are doing nothing. I, however, am making a speech at…a church.”
I didn’t miss her snort, or the way she tried to hide her amusement.
“Something funny?”
“Yeah.” She nodded. “In church.”
“Where did this attitude come from?”
“You kissed me.” Her eyes narrowed as she leaned back into her seat, not missing a beat as she let her gaze wander across my body like a caress. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t feel good, to be desired, wanted, and it was a welcome distraction from the pit in my stomach. I really, really didn’t want to go to Chicago.
“You kissed me back,” I retorted.
“Doesn’t matter, you still kissed me. The line between beast and his little toy has been crossed, therefore I kind of own you like you own me, just in a more...irritating way. I have your balls in a vise.”
“Let’s leave my balls out of the speech if you don’t mind,” I said ignoring her little ploy to get under my skin again.
“Hey.” Her grin spread smugly across her pretty face. “It may just inspire the crap out of them, you never know.”
This was a conversation that Andi would have loved, in fact, the more Maya talked the more I saw Andi in her, which just made it that much worse. Here Maya thought I was going to Chicago to slap hands with rich doctors and make speeches, when really, I was going because I made a promise, to a dying girl.
Just one more girl, I’d failed to save.
“Let’s leave all references to body parts out of my speech, hmm?”
“I’ll try.”
“I am the boss.”
“So you are.”
“I’ve created a monster. Had I known feeding you would gain this response I would have tied you up in the basement with a protein bar and some Gatorade.”
“It’s not your fault. It’s Netflix. Orange is the New Black combined with the nightmares…” She yawned and it was then that I noticed how tired she looked.
I shifted uncomfortably in my seat wanting to press things further, what kind of nightmares had she been having?
“I haven’t been sleeping much. Then again I blame you for keeping me from technology for so long.”
“Which brings us back full circle. I should have never given you such privileges.” My voice came out in a bark.
“It’s a right, not a privilege,” she snapped.
“So this…” What the hell was it? A eulogy? Not really, that was Sergio, but he’d asked me to say a few words. Shit. I struggled with how to ask, I didn’t know the first thing about being at a funeral, I put people in the casket, I didn’t visit them after they took their last breath. My eyes stung with exhaustion. “I need you to help me write it.”
“Wait...” She visibly paled. “What did you say?”
“Write.” I nodded encouragingly, my anger surging, breaking through all of my carefully constructed walls. Anger had no place in my business, in my life, and anger toward her, did nothing but put her in danger. “You know, words on a paper, you put them down, I say them.”
“Don’t be an ass.”
“Maya…” I tsked. “I am what I am.”
“Put that in your speech.”
“Maya.” I grit my teeth together to keep myself from snapping at her. “I need a speech, something…encouraging, inspirational, happy.”
Maya pulled out her laptop and opened it up. “Inspirational…I can do inspirational. When was the last time I was inspired…?” Her cheeks bloomed red.
“What was that?” I breathed, my eyes lowering to the expanse of cleavage, it was a welcome distraction from my morose and jumbled thoughts. “Didn’t catch what you just said.”
“I, uh, didn’t say anything.” She nervously tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, her cheeks pinkening even further.
“Your mouth didn’t…your face did.”
“Let’s not talk about my mouth…”
“Why?” I leaned in. “Does it inspire you too much?”
“Ass!” she hissed.
“I think you’re on to something…” I chuckled, bracing my hands on the armrests. Six inches, and our mouths would touch. I wasn’t just toying with breaking the contract, I was ripping it up, burning it. Just as our mouths were about to touch, I paused, lingering where our breaths mingled, hers warm on my lips, mine ragged and needy. I was right about one thing; she would be a welcome distraction, one that wouldn’t allow me to feel sad, or bothered by the fact that I was flying to a friend’s funeral.
And that history, if I wasn’t careful could repeat itself.
She moved, dislodging her water bottle. It landed with a soft thump on the floor.
I reared back and stared at it.
What the hell was I doing?
And as luck would have it, the water droplets had cascaded against my left hand, my tattoo—the mark of the sickle, the mark that would tell anyone who knew anything about the darker side of life.
What I did.
Who I worked for.
What I was capable of.
What I would do—to protect not just my own identity but those closest to me.
My phone rang.
I reached down to silence it—ready to silence it, when I noted the number. Cringing, I answered it with a smooth hello.
“You know I have eyes everywhere.”
“Good afternoon to you, too.”
Maya pretended not to eavesdrop.
The last thing she needed to know was that I was talking to her father—correction, receiving another threat.
This one not so baseless as the rest.
“Tell me something I don’t know,” I said, waiting for his response.
“She’s been touched.”
I rolled my eyes. “You sure about that?”
The line crackled.
“She flushes when you’re near.”
“Most women do.”
“Cocky son of a bitch.” He chuckled. “Remember the terms of our agreement, Nikolai, I scratch your back, you scratch mine. She means nothing to me. You are the one who has everything to lose. You’ve developed a god complex, but I know all your secrets. It would take nothing for me to destroy you. You signed in blood. And it will be your blood that is spilled if you go back on your promise.”
My nostrils flared, heat surged through my body as I watched Maya happily pull out a magazine and cross her legs. Damn it, he was right. What the hell was I doing?
My lack of self control would end up getting her killed.
I knew that just as much as he did.
I was stuck.
And he knew it. Part of me wondered if he was aware that I’d developed a conscience—then again, I’d stopped working directly with him long ago, but it didn’t mean I wasn’t still owned.
“We’ll be in touch.” The phone went dead.
Damn Russian mafia.
And damn me for being one of the best. I didn’t get the nickname The Doctor because I had a good bedside manner.
And I wondered, as I tried not to stare too hard at Maya while she read through her magazine, would she still be alive if I hadn’t have taken the job that changed everything?
Had I damn her, then?
Had I truly saved her?
I let out a low growl of frustration; clenching my phone in my hand, ready to break it in half. I wanted so desperately to protect her from Andi’s fate, but would it be better that she died?
My body tensed.
Would I be extending her mercy, by snuffing out her life?
Maya frowned down at the magazine, her eyebrows furrowed as the plane rose to altitude.
I didn’t shake, didn’t so much as tremble. I was a doctor, after all, and whenever I made a decision of life and death, I was calm. Humanity didn’t slip through. I didn’t have a come –to-Jesus moment, where I wondered if what I was doing would sentence me to the darkest depths of hell.
It was…clarity.
The only way I could explain it.
“Something else to drink?” I asked Maya while she popped her knuckles again. Shit, twice in a few minutes? Was there something about the plane? Or my conversation?
“Wine.” She said quickly. “If you have it.”
I nodded, already walking to the bar. I glanced to my left to make sure she wasn’t watching me, then reached into the cupboard and pulled out a syringe of sodium pentothal. It wouldn’t harm her. If anything, it would relax her more, make it so that I would be able to hold a conversation with her…without her remembering a damn thing, though the dosage needed to be precise. The last thing I needed was for her to end up unconscious.
“What time is it?” I asked while I poured the wine, keeping the small syringe in my right hand.
“Oh.” Maya yawned then glanced at her watch. “It’s nearing four in the afternoon, why?”
“Just thinking about our dinner plans,” I lied. Two and a half hours since she’d last eaten. I mentally went over her stats, weight one-forty, height five seven. She’d need a half dose at the most.
Clearing my throat, I turned, sliding the syringe into the top of my sleeve and bringing over the two glasses of wine; hers was more full.
“Wow, generous in all areas aren’t you, Nikolai?” Maya eyed the wine glass and took a long sip.
“Drink it all,” I instructed with a half smile. “Doctor’s orders.”
“All of it?” She laughed lifting the glass into the air. “This is at least two glasses.”
“At least half,” I said in a more gentle tone. “You seem stressed, and I know…I’m not the easiest to travel with.”
Maya blinked then took another sip of wine. “No, you think?”
“It’s a…” I coughed into my hand letting the syringe slip out to the tips of my fingers. “It’s not you. It’s me.”
“Okay,” she said slowly, setting her wine down on the arm rest.
“Nope.” I offered a encouraging smile. “A few more sips, trust me, you’ll feel so much better.”
Maya rolled her eyes but drank deeply.
The alcohol would work beautifully with the sodium pentothal. Truth serums, didn’t necessarily work by themselves, they were used in conjunction with other tools and drugs, allowing the human mind to be open to suggestion.
But no human mind or body was the same, meaning, the outcome was always different.
If Maya had any sort of…secret she was keeping close, something she wanted to tell me, but couldn’t or refused to, it would most likely come out at some point in the next half hour.
If she were harboring memories, dark ones, ones that scared her, and I offered her a caring ear, she’d jump at it.
And I’d know.
If she was getting triggered and how.
It sounded sick.
But it was of the utmost importance that she be kept in the dark, especially since her father clearly was still keeping eyes on her.

I told myself that as she drank more wine.

If you need more after this. Here is the link to the book trailer: https://vimeo.com/141860787?ref=fb-share


Amazing right? You can buy RIP here: