I can’t remember the last time I felt completely safe. Security seemed more like a luxury to me, reserved for those who were fortunate enough to have picture perfect childhoods. For those who didn’t bear the ugly scars that keep me bound in constant, debilitating fear. I’ve run from that fear my entire life. But when I met him, for once, I couldn’t run anymore.
He scared the hell out of me in a way that excited every fiber of my being. It wasn’t the tattoos or the piercings. It wasn’t the warmth that seemed to radiate from his frame and blanket me whenever he was near. It was just…him. The scary beautiful man that threatened to alter 23 years of routine and rituals, and make me face my crippling fear.
My name is Kami and I am constantly afraid. And the thing that scares me the most is the very thing I want.
I was going to give this book 5 starts but the length of the book made me change that to four. Why?, Well because it felt a bit to long at some points. I'm not talking about the important parts but some bits were a bit to slow for my liking. It caused me to skip pieces to get to dialog. Also it felt at times like I missed things, the flow of the story was a bit off at times. In the beginning I cared for Kami more and I really felt for her because of what she went through, but the more I got into the book the more I cared for Blaine because he was trying so hard, he was getting hurt over and over again because he cared and tried so hard to help Kami.
That being said I thing this book was amazing! It really show how crippling fear can be. It shows that you can't help someone unless they want to help themselves. It shows how hurtful it can be for the other party to love someone who won't let you love them, who can't let them in.
What is this book all about
This book is written in dual pov, kami and Blaine. Kami sees herself as broken. She had a terrible past and she is still dealing with. Well not dealing with is because she never really got over what happens to her. Fear is consuming her. She is afraid to let anyone but her best friends angel and Dominic near her. Both who had difficult pasts of them own. Then she meets Blaine. Blaine didn't have an easy past either but where Kami doesn't want to feel at all, Blaine feels allot. He's really emphatic.
They are immediate attracted to each other. And they fall for each other pretty fast. But where Blaine is willing to do anything to help Kami, to shoulder her fears, Kami is trying everything she can not to feel.
What did I like about this book
I'm not sure how I feel about this book. My head is so full right now that I find it hard to write this review. I want to look at is as pure fiction and if I do I find myself getting annoyed with Kami for hurting Blaine over and over again, for kind of stringing him along but that isn't the case. This book just doesn't feel as just fiction to me. It feels real. This is reality for allot of people. I find it hard to be annoyed at kami or mad at her without pointing at myself and say" you don't deal with emotions either, you don't let anyone near either". Maybe that's why this review is so hard for me because I see pieces of myself in Kami. It hurt me to see how hard it is for Kami to let someone in but it hurts even more to see how hard it was for Blaine. How difficult it is for him to deal with someone who refuses his love. And it scares me. It made me think if I'm ever able to do what Kami did in the end, love some one and let someone in.
Anything I really liked about this book were Angel and Dominic. I'm not even going to call them side characters because they were so much more than that. They were amazing friends. I can't wait to read more about Dominic so I'm going to read his book for sure. I might have loved him even more than I did Kami.
As the content of this book is raw, and emotional I would have loved it more if the story flowed a bit better in the beginning. I don't know how to explain it. This book isn't an easy read, due to the content of the book and the way it's written but it's worth the read. It definitely is!