He wanted her to leave him, but, in the end, he was forced to do it.
Separating himself from Lila puts Nathan in a level of hell he never knew existed. The journey is a spiraling descent where the beast inside is released and havoc reigns in the arena of self-destruction.
But what is he to do? It was for the best, after all.
A short novella of a portion of Breach from Nathan's point of view.
b. separation into component parts
c. decay, disintegration, death
d. termination or destruction by breaking down, disrupting, or dispersing
This story contains a part of Breach in Nathan's point of view. So If you're not familiar with the story, this review might contain spoilers.
What is this story about. '
The story starts after the hard sex scene in Breach, after Nate loses control and took Lila very hard. You can tell Nate regrets leaving her, missing her, even loving her but he feels like he can't. Like he isn't good enough and never will be. He is still very much attached to his late wife. The guilt he feels keeps him in the past and that's withholding him to live in the present. The allow himself to be happy again.
The scene where Nathan sees lily lying naked in her bedroom broken was so powerful. I could feel the agony that Nate feels. The despair. Nate really really hates himself, his self worth is so little. He just doesn't trust himself. And in his mind he has proven that he is right. But it's much harder to live with the consequences of your own ill thinking.
It was so heartbracking seeing nate sit outside Lila's hospital room everyday, yet not seeing her while he still yarns for her. And seeing lila so broken that her mind just shut down. To hear her scream "no one wants me" just made my cry. I kind of know how she feels. Well not to that extent but I kind of get it.
It was also kind of funny to see nathan try and force lila to eat something. There both so stubborn haha. But it also showed me they still cared.
That scene, when Lila get's into an accident. I didn't know she called Nathan. But to find out that she did, and that she spoke to them. It just made me panic. I really didn't want her to die, and for nate to think he might lose someone again, my hart really broke for him.
What did I love about this book.
I love getting to know Nathan a bit better. To see what he thinks, what he feels. They are both so broken. They really deserve more, to live again.